RIP Bedstemor

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
04/15/2015 at 09:28 • Filed to: rip

My wife's mother passed away yesterday following a battle with ALS. I'm not going to get maudlin about it, but she was an amazing woman. The wife of a career Marine, she was tough, independent, firm, yet caring and loving to her grandchildren and others, and she enjoyed a good laugh. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is a horrible disease. The nervous system wastes away and the body becomes useless while the mind remains sharp. And Alise was sharp until the end. She will be buried with her husband at Arlington National Cemetery. Fitting, because the families of Service Members also serve.

"Bedstemor" is Danish for grandmother. Alise's mother was born in Copenhagen, and her father was born in Viborg, Sweden. This is an older photo; our boys are 9 and 12 now.

DISCUSSION (27)

505Turbeaux > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:30

oh man sorry to hear. It is a terrible disease. Godspeed

ttyymmnn > 505Turbeaux
04/15/2015 at 09:31

Thanks.

area man > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:33

Ah, that's terrible. My condolences man.

Leon711 > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:33

Sorry to hear it man.

Tiger Moth for your troubles

Kinja'd!!!

Jcarr > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:36

Sorry to hear this. My condolences to your family.

ttyymmnn > Jcarr
04/15/2015 at 09:41

Thanks.

E. Julius > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:42

You have my condolences.

Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:43

That sucks, bro. Prayers for your family.

ttyymmnn > Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig
04/15/2015 at 09:43

Thanks.

thebigbossyboss > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:43

Yikes. Sorry to hear of your loss.

"It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone." - John Steinback.

"Remember all the good times, forget about all the bad" - Tom Cochrane

ttyymmnn > E. Julius
04/15/2015 at 09:43

Thanks.

$kaycog > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:44

I'm so sorry. What a beautiful photo.

ttyymmnn > thebigbossyboss
04/15/2015 at 09:48

Thanks for the quotes. My oldest son was hit the hardest. And I had been thinking about what I would say to him when it happened, but I still wasn't ready. When you become a parent, there's no class on how to handle these things. But as he sobbed, I told him that he should not try to stop crying, that he honored Bedstemor with his tears. And that the amount of crying he does shows how much he loved her and how much she loved him. It's become a cliché to say, "She's in a better place, she's not suffering," but clichés don't work unless they are true. Her suffering is indeed over, and not only can she rest in peace but her loved ones can rest also. Time to leave that broken body behind and move on to whatever is next.

ttyymmnn > $kaycog
04/15/2015 at 09:51

Thanks.

Agrajag > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 09:59

Sorry for the loss. My condolences.

thebigbossyboss > ttyymmnn
04/15/2015 at 10:15

I could imagine that it would be very hard for them and you being their father of course, and being the one they turn to for comfort in times of trial.

With grief, one thing I have learned is that time will heal the wounds, and one thing we can't do is make time go any faster. Far be it from me to say since I am not a parent, but in my estimated and highly esteemed opinion you have done well.

When my close friends parents died I felt the same (what does one say to that?), but there really is nothing you can say that will make everything whole again. I think you are right there is nothing wrong with him crying in a time like this.

These gates are gates we all pass through sooner or later. As your son now knows, dealing with losses is a part of life.